Month: July 2005

… and having much fun. I’ve been neglecting my family for too long. One thing though, for those of you who have settled away from the nest, have you ever noticed how you tend to forget certain idiosyncratic tendencies and behaviors of your kin after you’ve spent time away from them, only to notice such abnormalities magnified 100 times during brief visits. Yikes, people — even family, even older family members for that matter — change over time. Um… from now on I need to pay more attention to my family. Or, the next time I come home I will not recognize them at all.

[Stop saying “duh” this is a new concept for me!]

This party seriously rocked… no thanks to me, though. My stupid ass had no carpet to keep my kit from creeping away from me while I banged :(. Oh well. You live, you learn.

STOP FUCKING WITH MY SHIT!!!

Two weeks ago, I came home to find that a pack of you shiftless cockgobblers destroyed my bike with your cowardly vandal shit while I was out of town. SHAME ON ME for leaving it unattended in my own yard for a night.

Ten minutes ago, I walk out of my practice space and find my car, unlocked, windows down, e-brake unlatched, partially blocking an intersection right smack in the middle of downtown Portland. Some mutherfuckin’, post-fraternity backwards capwearin’, fuckassed fucklick, drivin’ a late-model, raised w/oversized tires, chevy pickup, probably on his way to some Abercrombie and Fitch Gala in the Benson Hotel, decided on pulling/bending down my driverside window by wedging his fingers into the 1/2 inch crack that I left for my car to breath. He must have then reached in with his arm, unlocked my door, unlatched the brake, and pushed my car forward in the path of sign in the curb — that, luckily, prevented my car from going all the way out into the intersecting street– to make room for his gas guzzing, “manhood” increasing, never taken off paved roads and never to haul any payload of any kind, behemoth boy toy in it’s place.

Right now I want to return to that space, EITHER to take down his license plate to report him OR to bash in his faggotyassed, aftermarket headlights. I won’t. Either course of action would invariably make my life more complicated. ItI’m sick of being shat on, especially by THE WORST PHYLUM OF FUCKTARD… some spoiled ass, ass-primpin’, pud-poundin’, golf shirt wearin’, prepster ass shit bird who believes that he is so much better your common man that he can desecrate Joe Public’s shit at random and without consequence.

I’ve been regularly attending classes 3 times a week for the past 2 months. The main instructor, who we call “Sifu” (Chinese for teacher) is both knowledgeable and patient. So are the advanced students who also guide and condition us, often disoriented, beginners.

I trained in Kenpo Karate for several years during Junior High and High School, so my acclimation this particular style of Kung Fu and how it is taught has not been as difficult as I’ve noticed it being for beginners for whom this training is their first exposure to martial arts. Make no mistake though, in spite of it being a beginners class, I found the training involved to be quite strenuous at times. Last night, we had to go all out, performing all that we’ve learned so far, as fast and as hard as we could for 18 minutes. There wasn’t a stitch of clothing on me that wasn’t drenched with sweat.

I’ve been pleased with my progress. However, my complete ineptitude for retaining names of the forms and techniques that I’ve been taught is starting to get embarrassing.

… a large bowl of seafood chowder, an entire appetizer of breaded and fried calamari, a couple cocktails and countless beers — that is what I consumed last night, in efforts to prove to a certain west riverbank establishment (that we discovered, all but exploited folks’ desire for seated fireworks viewing) that I, and my party were profitable enough customers to justify the space that we occupied. Around 2:30 am or so, my abdominal entrails churned, heaved and ached quite severely, but they held out admirably, and processed their unruly contents without expelling them.

Thanks IronGut! You never let me down.