Month: March 2010

The other night I found myself:
a. riding home from band practice in the car of a good friend of mine.
b.  I sat in the front seat, on the passenger side, of his Toyota Corolla.
c.  Crossing in front of us on 12th and NE 45th street, was a scantily clad female and her similarly dressed, though not as striking, friends.
d.  She stood out because her bare, white legs made up, like, 75% of her stature.
e.  Though his maneuver would require a detour from our usual route home, the passing spectacle obliged my buddy to turn and follow.
f.  As I rolled down the window and prepared to yell out…
g. … the Jeep Grand Cherokee directly ahead of us outclassed us by doing exactly that.
h.  I guess we should have been thankful that they degraded themselves before we could.
i.  We weren’t.

Doctor:  “Ryan, truthfully, have you been having any more suicidal thoughts these past few weeks.”

Myself:  “Yes, but they’re far less frequent than a month ago.  I’m getting better.  I know it.”

Doctor: “I insist we up your Fluoxetine dose.”

Myself:  “What good will that do?  Drugs won’t change present circumstances.”

Doctor: “No, but it will help you deal with them better.”

Myself:  “I guess.”

To obtain a driver’s license I showed my birth certificate and social security card.

To be admitted to my university I sent notarized transcripts, my social security number and was immunized — which required my medical records and birth certificate.

To open my bank account showed my driver’s license and social security card…I think.  I don’t remember the process being all that much of a pain in the ass.  Not compared to the above two tasks.

Apparently according the Transportation Security Agency of Seatac airport, if one shows a temporary paper license in conjunction with their old license that just expired, one needs to show an alternative form of ID.  Makes sense.

So I pulled out my school ID.  It’s current, it has my name, ID number, my picture, my bus pass and is proof that I go to school in Seattle.

“School IDs aren’t an official form of ID.  Do you have your social security card?”

“No.  I don’t carry my social security card on me.  Getting my wallet lifted would be a pain.  Getting my identity stolen would be a tragedy.”

“What about a bank card?”

“Sure.  Let me get this straight though: a rinky-dink ATM card with only my name on it is legit, but my school ID isn’t?” 

“Well, we recognize bank cards.  School IDs could be forged and we’d have no way of knowing.”

“Psssht.  Money talks, everything else walks right..?”

“Huh?  Alright, you can pass.  You probably want to lose the ‘tude though, ‘kay.”