Chronicles of Leon: Part I

Leon says: “Hey R***! How’s school treatin’ ya?”
And I says: “Like a red-headed step child!”
Then he says: “He He. That reminds me of my boys: Rusty and Dusty.”
And I thinks: “That’s the worst offspring naming strategy since Brandi and Candi.”
And I says: “Oh really? How Come..?”
An’ Leon says: “Back when they was young they thought I didn’t treat ’em so good.”
Then he says: “Turns out I was just teachin’ em what they don’t teach in school; how to work hard.”
And I says: “I suppose that’s true.”
And he says: “What is?”
And I thinks: “Yep, that was too indirect a reference.”
And I says: “…that they don’t encourage hard work early enough in school these days.”
And Leon says: “Goddamn right!”
And then I says: “Well… how’d they turn out?”
And Leon says: “Who?”
And then I says: “YOUR BOYS!”
Leon says: “Fine, Fine. My boy Dusty was named football MVP for Klickitat Community College.”
Then I thinks: “I bet having a name that rhymes with his older brother’s necessitated his toughness.”
Then Leon says: “His coach came up to me one day and he says: ‘Hey Leon, how can your boys run so fast, considerin’ neither of ’em are taller’n 5 and half feet!?!'”
Then I says: “What’d ya tell him?”
And then he says: “I says: ‘I feed ’em horsemeat.'”