I challenge all grammarians to decipher the chorus of this gem…
She said I seen you in here before
I said I been here a time or two
She said Hello my name is Bobby Jo
Meet my twin sister Betty Lou
And we’re both feelin’ kinda wild tonight
You’re the only cowboy in this place
And if you’re up for a rodeo
I’ll put a big Texas smile on your face
I said girls…
I ain’t as good as I once was
I got a few years on me now
But there was a time, back in my prime
When I could really lay it down
If you need some love tonight
Then I might have just enough
I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once
As I ever was
I still hang out with my best friend Dave
I’ve known him since we were kids at school
Last night he had a few shots, got in a tight spot
Hustlin’ a game of pool
With a couple of redneck boys
One great big fat biker man
I heard David yell across the room
Hey buddy, how ’bout a helpin’ hand
I said Dave….
I ain’t as good as I once was
My how the years have flown
But there was a time, back in my prime
When I could really hold my own
If you want to fight tonight
Guess them boys don’t look all that tough
I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once
As I ever was
I used to be hell on wheels
Back when I was a younger man
Now my body says you can’t do this boy
But my pride says oh yes you can…
I ain’t as good as I once was
That’s just the cold hard truth
I still throw a few back, talk a little smack
When I’m feelin’ bullet proof
So don’t double-dog dare me now
‘Cause I might have to call your bluff
I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once
As I ever was
I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once
As I ever was
As Good As I Once Was — Toby Keith
Random Thoughts:
1. Whose ass would end up grass in a fight between Glenn Danzig and the Keithster?
vs. 
[whoa, from the looks of things at least they share an affinity for canines…har!]
2. Is it me or are ALL Texans jackasses?
3. Toby Keith endorses Ford trucks which, incidentally, have been reported to spontaneously catch on fire on occasion, often buring up the houses in which they are garaged, and/or the rednecks dumb enough to drive them. What does Glenn Danzig endorse?… Satan I’ll bet.
4 replies on “BAD Country Song No. 4”
I know everyone will hate me now (and probably you for dating me), but I like Toby Keith.
Maybe he is all: “Every muslim is a terrorist! And everyone who’s foreign is a terrorist!, etc.” He probably hates fags, too (like God).
It doesn’t matter – I like his music. Country is successful, as Ray Charles character “Ray” said in the movie “Ray”, because it’s just stories of peoples lives. I also like Toby Keith’s voice.
Heard one this AM that continuously bugs me. From LeAnn Rimes, “I need you like water, like breath, like rain . . .” Can we say redundant and repetitive? Hey, LeAnn, rain is made of . . . water! Yeah!
And, to reply,
1) Not sure but probably Danzig despite Toby’s “$hit kickers”.
2) Not ALL Texans are jackasses. I’ve just been there and met lots of great Texans. It was the bigots and bad drivers that bugged me. Can I HAVE some space to MERGE, please? And why the h3ll shouldn’t our girls be allowed to fight for their country (or fight for whatever reason there is or isn’t) on the front lines with our “brothers”? (wimpy voice) “Oh no, I’m about to menstruate so I’m gonna cry.” (big voice) “Hell no, I’m gonna kick your A$$!” Bottom line, if someone wants to participate in an activity that may get them killed because they want to help, go for it!
3) Not all Fords spontaneously combust. Maybe Danzig had something to do with it! :o) I’m starting to respect this Danzig chap.
I dunno nothin about Toby (small town) Keith’s stature, but Danzig is mighty short. He might have some trouble there, but I bet Keith would insist on ‘fightin’ fare’ or some such horseshit in which case Danzig would just bite off his nutz and have done w/ it.
I think all Texans are Mexicans. Or should be. Anyhow, they are definitely jackasses, if for no other reason than that they live in Texas.
I dunno nothin about Ford’s blowing up. Sounds like quality home-town entertainment to me.
I hate stories of people’s lives. And, I think country is successful cuz this country is so fucking country, if you kin me. And cowboys all plow the back fields from time to time, say thankee. Cousining mutherfuckers.
Thanks folks for your constructive criticisms of my deconstructive criticisms of the Tobester!
PS: I didn’t make that shit up about ford trucks catching on fire. Ford sent recall notices to 700,000 or so Ford owners of certain years and models. I saw a report about it on CNN last night. If it’s proof that you’re after check out the link in my updated post.